3-LISTEN up!

I can be poor at listening when I am doing other things that require my attention or if you interrupt me in the middle of, say writing an e-mail to tell me something, when your story is long winded and when it isn't about me (ouch, that one hurts to write).

I have a couple of goals in mind with this week's challenge
1) Shut up and listen
2)To engage all my senses (eyes, ears, brain) when you are talking (particularly, my younger daughter)
3) To STOP what I am doing (even when it's important) and give you my full attention (because you're even more important)
4) Allow you to finish your story without injecting a similar one of my own
5) Ask questions and remember details
6) Remember a new acquaintances name when I meet them a second time

Well, I had an opportunity to listen to Alayna, remember a name (Karen) and to not inject my own stories. I did OK-need to do better. Had to remember a 2nd name (Mary) and still remember it today! WOW! That has to be a record. Praying I remember her face when I see her next so I can impress her with my memorization skills (since we discussed how bad we are at remembering names!)

It is harder to listen than I realized. I now find myself thinking about my need to listen instead of the comment I am going to make, which is just another form of distraction. How to break the cycle?

I also find myself offering advice (especially to my kids) instead of just listening to them. Sometimes all they want is to tell their story, concern or incident. The telling is the therapeutic part. I also find that I multi-task (type e-mail responses, etc.) when talking on the phone to Gary or Kara, for example. Very eye opening, as I can't fully concentrate on either "conversation".

I have learned that I can remember peoples names (Frances from a Derby Party! and her daughters, Madison, Ellery and oops-can't remember the oldest one) if I concentrate and apply the tried and true tools of repeating their names in the conversation, asking questions and association.